realrucfandomcom-20200213-history
Jabberjaw
Supposedly the youngest and newest member of the Radioactive Uber Clan (well, no longer the newest, actually). Jabberjaw is the one who wrote the RUC wiki and authors many books and biographies about the members and the "Truth" He also responds to questions on the RUC's ask.fm page Personality He tends to claim and re-iterate that he's a "nice guy" and one of the "kindest people" alive. This could not be further from the truth. He is prone to temper tantrums, screaming, name-calling, threats, and many other things when he and his writing is even lightly criticized. Like the rest of the RUC, he writes off any anti-RUC comments as "Demon propaganda," to make himself and the rest of the klan feel better about themselves because their feelings got hurt by people trying expose what they're doing, oh boohoo. :'( Like every other member, he claims to be a goody goody hero who can do no wrong, despite the fact that he has many times threatened to scalp or mutilate people for "love and justice" even if they only annoy him a tiny bit. Oh, and he also gets pissed and insults you if you like something he doesn't like (e.g. Gurren Lagann, Neon Genesis Evangelion, anime in general). He is also a compulsive liar. Example, He uses sockpuppets to say good things about the RUC and make it seem as if normal people actually support them. If he sees any negative comments made on his wiki, he's quick to edit them into Pro-RUC comments; say Jabby, you hate propaganda and yet look at what you're doing to those peoples' comments. Oh, if it's not editing them into Pro-RUC comments, it's editing them into "Demon" comments for Jabby to respond to. Exception being the "Demon" comments people made just to fuck with him. Recently he's discovered that some random RUCitizens have been killing innocent people in the RUC's name and he's ashamed of them... except these are pretty much the things they do all the time; Jabby must be trying to save face now that the RUCitizens' acts have gone public. Good luck Jabby, you're going to need it. Another example, he claims he rarely screams or yells.... and yet look on his ask.fm. His recent responses on the RUC's ask.fm page has revealed that he is also an egomaniac. Examples: "What do you think when you look in the mirror? How a handsome shark like me became a valuable member of the RUC." "Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all? Me." "What's more valuable, brains or beauty? Brains but I have both so it doesn't matter." "What gift would you like to receive? A million dollars since I deserve it. " "What do you think people think of you? That I'm a heroic shark who is handsome." "On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you rate yourself? Beyond the scale." History The RUC wiki states that Jabberjaw became a member after he was rescued by Popeye and Albert when he was about to be molested and tortured by a masked demon. In reality, the "masked demon" was a dentist who was checking up on Jabby's teeth. Jabberjaw got all freaked out and shit and started calling the dentist a "masked demon." Being the "trigger word" for any member of the RUC, Popeye and Albert busted into the office and assaulted the dentist then carried Jabberjaw out afterwards (to the horror of many patients waiting for their check-up). Jabberjaw then joined the klan. The dentist (who shall remain anonymous) is currently recovering from his injuries in a nearby hospital. Mike Jabberjaw joined around the time the RUC started going after Mike and co. It wasn't long before he created the RUC wiki to write a bunch of delusional propaganda demonizing everyone they dislike. The wiki in question caught the interest of one of Mike's followers, who then took to constantly monitoring the wiki and, whenever the time is right, jump in to vandalize the place, leaving a mess for Jabby to clean up. Later Jabby would create the RUC's ask.fm, where he answers questions pretending to be a totally nice person until you spout a few "trigger" questions to bring out his true colors. Crashocalypse War During During the attack on Mikes settlement, Jabberjaw was one of the generals around. When Odyro had to run to find Glack to warn him of the situation, Jabberjaw was underwater and went after him. Days later when Odyro found Glack at and told him about what happened to Mike and the others, Jabberjaw destroyed his church when they came out. This resulted in a one sided battle where 3 of his followers went up against 6000 RUC soldiers. Jabberjaw later caused the city Glack was at to be destroyed with the Noid in charge of the area. He barely did anything else for a good while, before taking his troops to go attack Glack after he shut down one of Lady Chalice's Death Camps. His army was then defeated, and Jabberjaw humiliated. Afterwards, he... still did nothing much besides stare at himself in the mirror and read RUC fanboy letters (and editing hatemail into fanmail). Eventually, after the Noid's demise, Jabberjaw came to the RUC archives for his interview (that's being conducted by a reporter being held hostage). Glack would bust in and ruin this interview as well, which then Jabberjaw left Big Slammu of the Street Sharks to take care of him... which failed too. After Glack's raid on the RUC archives, Jabberjaw ordered his main city to have its gates sealed up with cement in order to keep "demons" out. Well, certainly it worked, as no one was able to enter, but at the same time, no one was able to leave either. Nice job Jabby. There are also reports that some of the RUC's own citizens were caught in the cement, but who really cares about those sorry excuses for people? Jabberjaw held another one of his shows at Jabberjaw theatre, which as you can expect, was pretty much about him bragging about himself for several hours on end. Glack, once again, busts in and ruins his fun. Jabberjaw managed to escape, once again, before Glack was able to capture him. Defeat and Demise info to be added later Aftermath Of course, their deaths weren't exactly permanent. In Hell, the Devil himself would bring the RUC back to life in an attempt to rid himself of them so he wouldn't go insane from listening to their ramblings. Regardless, their threat level has dropped down to the negatives, and they're bigger jokes than before after their defeat. Jabby still writes propaganda and answers questions on his ask.fm (where he still loses his "nice guy" act from time to time). But otherwise, the RUC is not to be worried about any longer. Writings RUC wiki - ''A collection of his insane writing, full of blatant lies with less evidence than this wiki to back up their views. ''RUChronicles Book Series - A book "series" written by Jabberjaw and Dr. Zitbag (although only Jabberjaw was credited on every cover and "edition" of the book, once again, displaying his massive ego). It shamelessly promotes the RUC and their ideals and demonizes everyone they don't like. It contains "trading cards" which are yet another shameless self-promotion tool created by the RUC. (by cards I mean, think sheets of poorly cut out paper with 5-year old drawings on them). Supposedly it "garnered many awards due to its high writing and how it detailed the events perfectly" (Said no one except the RUC themselves, as usual). Yes, now if only those awards weren't awarded to the book by the RUC THEMSELVES (Although, the RUC is crazy enough to believe it was awarded by other people). The "awards" are also plastered everywhere on the covers and the back. The RUC wiki article for this claims that there are several different editions of the book, all of which are of the highest quality... at this point you'd be smart or sane enough not to believe that. Every "edition" of the book is pretty much the same, cheaply glued together pages which are inconsistently sized(no seriously, sometimes a page would protrude out of the book), bad drawings, unusual stains (some of which were brown), choking hazards for EVEN FULL GROWN ADULTS, and every other trait you'd expect from a cheap cash-grab promotion item like these. Also, every edition is horribly overpriced... actually, even if you get paid for buying the books, they'd still be overpriced. Trivia - Jabberjaw LOOOOOOVES shoes. -The RUC wiki states that both of Jabberjaw's parents are dead (and even outright states that Jabberjaw's father is deceased). However... messages he sent to Mike's followers state that Jabberjaw Senior is the name of his father, and imply that he's alive. The RUC's ask.fm page even responds to a question with Jabberjaw Senior being in an elderly home. -He claims to be a vegan, even though recently he's expressed desire to cook and seals. Apparently seals are seafood so they don't count, but Jabberjaw said sea creatures don't eat each other and he stands firm on that even though he wants t- RUCONSISTENCY FOLKS -He recently apparently bought a proxy to spy on the Mike forums... even though proxies are normally free. He's stupid enough to be proud of being scammed like that. -For some reason, he hates spicy food to the point that he claims the only people who eat spicy food are demons because human stomachs can't handle spicy food or something something oh my god this is fucking stupid. No, legit, he claims that only demons, AND ONLY DEMONS EAT SPICY FOOD, and doesn't think there's such as a thing as "different tastes." Category:Radioactive Uber Clan Category:Main Four Category:Albertism Category:Members